HexagonUnit Group International – This Was Us Once

Recommendation: ☹


HexagonUnit Group International’s1 This Was Us Once is hyper-corporate muzak with all the sterility and saccharin that comes with mallsoft. Each of the album’s thirteen tracks are MIDI ridiculousness. The “Pet” songs are what I imagine what would play in the pet store in Nintendogs, with many sections having a sampled dog bark playing as a beat (e.g. “Love Your Pet”). It’s as outrageous as it sounds. “Virtual Rainforest” and “Exotica Virtua” are practically sixties exotica music recontexualized for the Internet Age. Heard of Martin Denny? Well, this is Martin DIGITAL.2 Also, fun fact: “Wholefoods” uses the same presets as the Karamja Jungle soundtracks from RuneScape.

 

Tracklist


1. Free Trial! – (2:22)
2. Demo License – (3:11)
3. Good Prices – (2:00)
4. Buy Now – (3:23)
5. Feed Your Pet – (1:55)
6. Love Your Pet – (2:02)
7. Play with Your Pet – (2:08)
8. Share Your Pet with Your Friends – (2:33)
9. Thank You for Using HexagonPets – (1:22)
10. Virtual Rainforest – (2:56)
11. Exotica Virtua – (3:12)
12. Wholefoods – (2:34)
13. Silver Level Ecoloyalty Card – (2:56)


 

1Get it? “HUG” International.
2Boo, get off the stage.

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